When I sleep on my left side I have normal dreams, when I sleep on my right side I have abnormal dreams.

	This awesome pic message was sent from a Virgin Mobile phone.

So the gov' found a way to take more money way from me, friggin hell. no matter what, it's take take take with them. I've been so unhappy these day, I just wanna save for a truck but the likely hood of that isnt gunna happen, I can't even work harder for it because I already have 2 jobs, working 60+ hours a week. WHY can't I get ahead in life? I don't buy expensive things, don't own a home, I just wanna cry, if I ever could again. Added frustration is the woman isnt interested AT ALL. Really hurts + makes life harder. Sigh.

Heartgold

I did it, I caved and bought pokemon heartgold. not because I wanna play it but because I dont want to miss another potentially awesome pokemon game. I cant seem to pry myself away from the cheap gameboy I bought last week.

Man, I see this gal on skytrain last night, she was sitting right beside her boyfriend, and the whole time, shes checking me out!!!!!! I swear this guy was buff, but she kept looking at me. I smiled at her when I got off the train, and she gave me this look of "take me now:" argh, I'm still thinking of her :(

	Well, I finally did it. I beat the Elite Four. Man those bastards were tough. After I beat Lance I revived 2 out of the other 5 dead, and I was gunna heal more but instead I walked closer to my rival iPhone, and he sucked me right into a battle. Let me tell you, it came down to Charazard vs Arecanine. Had he used Extremespeed I would of lost. Thankfully, he didn't and I was able to Fly. I had 12hp left when I took it from him. Damn. What a night.

... (Random guy stairring me down) anyway, where was I, oh yes.. I am also able to play DS games! Yay Pokemons galore!! I don't know why I'm so hooked. But I remember my first pokemon experience, of my parents not allowing me to get the cards, apparently I was "too old" for them. Well, after a long wait I got my first card, Ponyta. Then I remember after earning some cash, I saved up for a Starme. I remember going into the card store and feeling so determined to get the best team. Then I remember getting my blue version. Spending hours with my brothers and neighbors kickin ass and taking names... * Maybe that's what feeling I'm trying to recreate.*
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	So blog, I found a cheap nintendo DS, which is friggen awesome. It's the older model which happens to have the gameboy advance port still but also..

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I've been so stressed out lately. My hours at my main gig have been getting drastically getting less and less. I love the job, I enjoy doing the same thing over and over again, that way nothing will be forgotten.. I guess that's a benefit of having ADD. I got lucky that I won't be working split shifts this week. The smartest guy out of both of us ended up getting them. I think they realize that I'm gunna be a lifer. I'd like to be promoted to a better paying position, but for right now, I'm stuck there for 6 months for the probationary period. Hopefully all goes good cause I accidentally took out a window of another vehicle when I over corrected. It's so friggen hard. :( not so happy.
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Mc RIB

It's the telltale sign of that tangy barbecue sauce that's left its mark on your lips. The fact that the tender boneless pork is smothered in it means there's no way of getting away with this love affair.
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Happy Birthday!!

Well, today was my 26th birthday, congratulations. You know blog, for most of my life I tend to forget my actual age, for whatever reason, I always seem to think I'm 19. It doesnt make any sense as to why I cant seem to remember my age, I remember the date though, so that's good, just not what year or how many it's been since I was born. Consequential, the number 19 is my favorite number. I love the way it looks and sounds even if it's written out it's awesome, I'd change my last name to Nineteen even... but today I'm 26.

There's gotta be others out there like me, sitting and waiting for that moment, unlike all others where it all just ends. I wish there was another way, but there isn't. Being punished for what I can't control, to survive is all I want, but survival is all I got. Doomed from the day I was born, No planning can make it preventable, no matter how hard I try, it is always drawing me back. 

 Sitting.
Waiting.

Sorry, I havent had much to write lately, work has been hella busy argh. On the plus side, we're almost done coastal contacts, but it's going to mean a lack of hours at the end of the month. oh well, I still have the other job. phew.

Not blaming Lue, is like giving him a free pass. He might not be able to score goals, but he's sure as fuck supposed to stop em. If he held it together till one of his teammates scored we in BC would be chanting a new song aside from the BOOs from every house. Way to go BOO!!
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Way to go Wiener!

that will teach you to leave a pictorial trail...

( _LANK-TiTLE)

Hello Blog,

 I've figured out a few things today, first...

My mood of how I feel about work for the day, is directly related to how I sleep, mostly the last two or so hours of rest typically, mostly going to bed sweaty is a no go as well.

...Next....

It really pisses me off when I come home to couch cushions on the floor. I mean I don't go flipping out, but to the point where I just need to go out and come back in with them in place. I don't know why, but maybe because they take up so much space, or because I like to be able to just have a place to sit my fatty-ass in after a long day of work.. (Maybe not likely, because even if the main chair which doesnt get it's pillows flipped was available I think I'd still be upset.) It might also be due to being the first thing I look at when I open the front door, and it reflects how I perceive the house being tidy. unno.

I wonder what the first thing the wife looks at when she comes in? I'd probably unintentionally forget it in a week, Ugh.. I suck at these kinda things. I'm sure she'd try help me by reminding me, but at what point does it turn into a nag from a gentle reminder? Maybe it's just the wording?

On the plus side time for bed.

*reminder, put dishes away in the morning.

Well, It's been about a week at this new gig, and I can say... I miss doing security, and I know that it's a dead end job, doesn't have job security, doesn't pay the bills but it's enjoyable. Much more then this, not that this is hard. Argh.
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Dear Shaw Cable:

 Please, cancel my cable! 80 percent of it's current use is background noise for my wife. She wants it, I don't. I can think of better uses for the T.V.... XBOX350!! that's right. I mean, it's only on when she's also either on facebook with her laptop orr.. Angry Birds on her cellphone. GUHAH! going crazy.

youknow.

     Mkay, so... I've never struggled so much with money until I got married. It seems to be the root of all problems because we never have enough of it. I used to save money in a personal account that she never knew about, that way, when the funds got tight (which is quite regular) we'd always had enough backed up so we could still live. But because "families don't hide sh!t from each other." she figured it out, and then I was allowed to save, didnt even have to tell her how much was saved, which was SWEET.... because I was able to save 1000 bucks. Well, that lasted for 5 months because when we needed to tap into it, somebody else already had, damn you student loans... they took the whole damn amount. I understand the lack of me seeing that happening being bad for my family, and I also understand that they loaned me the money, so they deserve to get it back. it just really sucks because it was a lot, and things were going positively. Anyways from that I've never been allowed to save money again. Which sucks because of the lack we can keep any given month.

      The money gets spent by... "I need to go to the dollar store for a mask and gloves," (Because pregnant women cant change cat litter. Even though there is a swifter and paper towel already here.)  Meanwhile the car drinks gasoline worse then Obama. chug chug chug...   CHING!

      Can we go to a going away party?" Ok, I thought... the friend is pretty cool, there will be drinks/food already there, spending just gas for a few hours of fun, good stuff right? WRONG!!! after getting part way there she gets a text saying that it doesnt start till 2000hrs, and it's currently 1800hrs and it will start after T's bedtime, so we turn around, and then she asks...

"I feel ill, I need a ginger ail pop" UGHHH. I was sick just the other day, do you know what I needed? T3's and a good night sleep. that aside, dollar stores are closed so we go to wallmart and buy a pair of 1LT's... (I ended up having one too because why only let one person get the goods?) $3 with depo fee, and taxes = 4.70 fuck really, ok bought. drove home.

     Meanwhile, we're living off money we got from pawning off a guitar (her's from before being married thankfully) so one would think - HEY, LETS NOT SPEND THIS CASH!! but whatever, when the account hit's zero, we'll just ask the in-laws for money again, cause that's what she does.

    I could live off 100 a week, (without rent included) my family can't. Which is funny because I make over 100 a day, so clearly money gets spent aggressively here in this house.

PS. I'm not happy.

so..

I wish I never had this Attention Deficit Disorder, I mean try very hard not to let it limit me, but I feel it, and at times it can be very hard to move past things that one wouldn't see otherwise as a problem. aka, Poor time management with video games, you see, I'm almost 26 and still very into them, so much that I cancel all other priorities to put my controller first. It's not that it controls my life, once I put it down, I can continue to do so for a very long time, but once I come back, it's hard to put back down almost like an addiction. only it's hard to put down, not the desire to play.

 Anyways, to the people who say they'd never wish any sickness to their enemies, stop lying!!!! I mean really, would you want to have those kinda people to be healthy to come attack you?! Cause the worse they are, the safer you'd be, makes sense right? Unless you are your own enemy, then you'd be best to wish yourself well.

I've been wanting to write that for a while. *hugs laptop*  it feels good to get these stupid words out.

1st Post!!

Alright,

I've been wanting to do this for a while.

   Sooo... simply about me, I'm a father, husband, worker, and pretty average good looking male. I'm going on 26 next month, also I have an Attention Deficit Disorder, or ADD.

anyways, I'm sure you'll start to learn more as we go on over the years.

starting words, I had to google the word diary... I never knew how to spell it, I'm sure if I had a blank sheet of paper and a good 10 minutes I'd of figured it out. Spelling is one of my poorest points, but the main reason I started doing this blog was so I could figure more out about myself. You see, for the past 6+ years, I've been misdiagnosed with bi-polar depression, or rather had that along with this A.D.D... (sidenote: I cant commit myself to calling it MY ADD yet) and after hearing about my co-workers having to deal with their kids with ADD, I noticed how much it resembles myself. My brother has the Hyper Attention Deficit Disorder, so compared to that I never seen that I had it myself.